Ordering the world on the train

Three days after Christmas and I am traveling to Kent with my five year old son for an overnight visit. We are going to see an old university friend who has recently become a mother. Although in recent times I haven't been enjoying train journeys as much as I used to, I feel lucky to have found seats and a table across from a nice young lady who doesn't seem to mind being chatted up by my son. In fact he draws her in so much that she soon abandons her Simone de Bevoire tomme altogether and we launch in a four hour relaxed session of talking about feminists, Philosophy, christmas and family - punctuated by play, drawing and practicing cursive writing.

We mostly debate the tesis of my young friend's book: are we born women or do we become women? My new friend, who has just started gender studies at university and has a specific interest in 'motherhood', is mostly of the oppinion that gender roles are learned rather than innate. I used to like this tesis when I was younger. But now I have a couple of objections to it. I don't have to look too far.... First my son, like most five year old boys I know, is going through his 'no girls, no pink' phase, and he'll be happy to combatively defend it even to the most well intentioned, pacifist aunt who may try to explain gender neutrality to him. Second why should social roles be distinct or dicotomised from 'natural' plain order? Isn't that the old red herring of where does nature start and culture begins?

Anyhow it is soon time to say goodbye to Briana, it was a pleasure to meet her, and we keep on the trucks for two more hours. Just before getting our last connection I pick up the December issiue of the New Scientists (2010) and read a short article on some amazing new research that shows that some chimps play with dolls! Not exactly dolls but sticks that are used like dolls: the chimps put them to bed, make little nests for them, in short practice motherhood. Of course not all chimps do it. Only young female chimps who have not yet had babies.

One thing I noticed is that synchronicity is especially on the loose when one travels. When I travel I pay attention to ways in which colours, sounds and words congregate together. I like following my trail of crums as I put the world in order. To understand. I am sure I do it more as a woman...